November/Novembre

Lana Del Rey - Video Games

M83 - Too Late

The Polar Dream - Endless Tales

Daughter - Love

Home - Foxes

All Those Friendly People - Funeral Suits

Youth - Daughter 

Solèy - Kill The Clown

Solèy - Pretty Face

Sia - Breathe

Gonna be okay. Just take a deep breathe.

Today, i have a lots of taught even i can't face it. But honestly today was as boring as my previous days. Yeah, my daily routine. Wakes up in the morning, laziness on top, school, lessons, shit days. I've been through it all over again. But then i taught, "Why don't you make your own happiness?" That was the final thing. I've been through my daily boring day all over again and nothing has changed. So, i decided to opened my notes on my handphone and made list of things that would make me happy. The first thing that popped into my mind was the song called Young, Wild, and Free by Wiz Khalifa ft. Snoop Dogg and Bruno Mars, those are my favorite musician. This song never fails to amuse me, and also Boys Like Girls's The Great Escape. The next thing that makes me happy is when my bestfriend sent me some cute text and that was made my day! my bestfriend is the best, she could make me smile even when i don't want to, she's my moodbooster. The next thing might sound a lil bit crazy,  i like to modus with my senior in my high school. Maybe some of you don't understand what is the meaning of modus, it's some kind of insane-thing that would make you happy for no reason :p yeah but sadly modus  is  only exist in my lovely country.. Indonesia. Indonesian's ppl, especially Teenagers is love to modus or even being modus. For us, it has some weird sense that could light up all of sadness or galau people hahahaha lol.  And the last thing that makes me happy is eat. Especially is eats chocolate, i feel so free and i don't know... it tastes good. 

See? After all, today wasn't that bad. In fact, everything isn't that bad after all. Whenever you feel like there's nothing you can do to fight all the problems ...just look on the bright side. I usually to don't give a fuck of what people would think about me, this is my life and you have nothing to do about it. Go fuck yourself and go make your own happiness. 

If you believe in who you are, who you were always meant to be, if you open up your heart, then you'll set your spirit free. –Disney Fairies

you make me want to punch myself in the face.

Today was a boring day. It was bad in any way possible. I didn't exactly know why, but everything seemed really annoying. It's like, i want to eat all the people in this planet. It all started since i woke up this morning, i just didn't feel like doing anything. Not only today -- these past few weeks i've been getting very moody. And yeah, honestly, i'm not getting over him yet since 2 years ago. I know it takes a very long time, but.. Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet. For a few minutes you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone. It sucks when someone made you feel special yesterday, and then leaves you hanging without a goodbye and makes you feel like you're nothing to him.  I don't know which I would rather believe... that you never did care or that you eventually stopped. Where have you been, babe? did you forget to bring back my heart? you stole my heart and won't give it back to me. You have done teached me how to love you, but you forget to teach me how to forget you. You did hurt my heart, i don't know how many times. But i still love you, you make me feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven... for too long. I never had much faith in love or miracles, and i never wanna put my heart on deny. But swimming in your world is something spiritual, i can't stop it. I love you more than you deserve, why am i such a fool? nothing feels right anymore. But, you know, You can erase someone from your mind, but getting them out of your heart is another story. And now i realise, every tears that i take, every sadness that i felt, even all of my sacrifice that i did for you, is not worth it anymore. My love grows like a dangerous disease. I swear it was the worst. They say that the world was built for two, only worth living if somebody is loving you. But i can't force you to love me, maybe it's true that i've been disappointed because we can't be together. But what can i do? Is it wrong to put all our hopes together and wish for something better? We are all connected to each other in a circle, in a hoop that never ends. But On this journey that you’re making, there’ll be answers that you’ll see. I won't give up. That's one thing I swear will be true, because I can't forget about my heart and how it felt to fall for you right from the start. When I look at you, I feel like we were made for each other but i knew, in the end, all it takes is faith and trust. The very things that held you down are gonna carry you up and up and up, i swear. But we all knew that the only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability, anything can happen if you let it. Sometimes things are difficult, but you can bet it doesn't have to be some. Hope for a miracle, that's all we can do. And don't worry, If the time comes, you'll know what to do. 

And now, i think i know what to do -- from now on, i should just take a deep breathe and let go. That's the best thing i could do. Maybe our memory will stay in my heart forever, but i choose to be happy. And i think, i could just make my own happiness. People change everyday till they find their own way, so can i. and mostly, people changes because pain. So, this is my advice -- if you won't let the person you love change, don't let them feel the pain. And once again, thanks for the memories. I'm glad you've been succeed for making me love you. Je t'aime, au revoir.