May. maybe yes, maybe no..

GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM THE DEAD?!!?!?!!? ok.

So, I just finished my final exams in Junior High School which is means that I've completed school for being a junior high student lol. And now I'm surely 50% ready to go to Senior High School

Actually, I will move to a new school.. in a new town, new kids, new association, etc. And it got me nervous, it's like I have to change everything too and I'll be new me. I will meet new people, I had to adapt again.. and it's not that easy.

I don't know how I feel, excited, happy, nervous, sad, confuse all at the same time. And my thoughts are drowning with "what ifs?" what if I won't make new friends? what if my new friends won't like me? what if I cant adapt into this place? what if I fail? it's driving me crazy. seriously.

And the only thing that keeps me going is.. my dream. Like Joyce Chapman says, “If your dream is a big dream, and if you want your life to work on the high levelthat you say you do, there's no way around doing the work it takes to get you there.” 

I really love travelling, I'm in love with nature. You have no idea how much a tree and a wind could make my heart beats faster.. oohh i really love landscape. I do interesting in a political view too, arts, humanities, peace-thingy, that's all my thing. 

And my dream country is.. Amuuurrricaaa! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE AMERICA?? you tell me. This country has it all, their human resources, the landscape they had, their fashion thing, times square, New York City, Seattle, UCLA, Oxford, Mc Donald's, american horror story, kardashian's family, Hollywood, LA, Hawaii, can you tell me just one thing to stop me being in love with all of this? no.

And also, Germany. Like, Oh my God, this country has the best historical buildings, Berlin's wall, Adolf Hitler, their military, NAZI, their interesting law, Frankfurt, Munich, Einstein, Beethoven, The Brothers Grimm, their philosophy and literature, it's.. beautiful. 

Untaian rasa seorang pelajar yang hanya ingin dimengerti. #serius (bagian 1)

Cintaku padamu, seperti pohon beringin.
Yang tidak pernah berhenti tumbuh,
Tumbuh membesar,
dan tidak akan mati.

Cintaku padamu, seperti udara.
Terus menghembuskan kesegaran,
Membuat kita tetap hidup didalamnya,
dan bertahan.

Cintaku padamu,
Seperti minyak yang jatuh ke tanah.
Seberapa banyak air yang menyiraminya,
Untuk memudarkannya,
Tetapi partikelnyapun tetap tertinggal,
Berbekas.
Tanpa jejak.

Cintaku padamu, seperti logam.
Ia tahan terhadap berbagai cuaca,
Namun ia akan meleleh,
Jika terkena panas api cintamu.

Cintaku padamu, tulus mengalir.
Seperti air dibumi,
Takkan berhenti hadir,
Melengkapi tiap sudut disanubari.

Kau datang secara tiba-tiba, tanpa mengetuk pintu hatiku. Kau berhasil masuk, menetap didalamnya, lalu menaburkan benih cintamu dihatiku. Kaupun meninggalkannya tumbuh, dengan cepat, menjadi besar. Lalu, kau meninggalkannya begitu saja, sampai mati.. bersamaku. Menyisihkan sejuta ukiran rasa, yang tak terselesaikan.. meninggalkanku tuk menyelesaikannya sendiri.

Membran Selektif Parmeabel (Akibat UKK IPA yang super susah)

Kekasihku...

Hari ini aku telah menyelesaikan ujian hari ke-3ku.

Ternyata hukum ke-3 Newton memang berpengaruh

Pada hati, dan pikiranku saat mengerjakan soal.

Aksi-reaksi negatif, yang membuat dua jiwa berbeda

Memiliki besar yang sama, namun berbeda arah.

Sudah begitu banyak usaha, gaya, energi, dan daya

Yang telah kita kalkulasi selama ini.

Entah itu searah, membentuk sudut atau bahkan berlawanan arah.

Kita berhasil melawan kesesatan inersia,

Dan memproteksi cinta kita dengan mempertahankan equilibrium.

Aku tidak perduli apa kata Blaise Pascal dan Isaac Newton

Yang mendesign gaya dan tekanan cinta kita.

Biarlah kita yang memberi usaha pada struktur cinta kita sendiri

Asalkan tekanan cinta kita seoptimal 2x10^16 N/m2

Dan serendah rendahnya 10^18 N/m2

Sayangku...

Aku akan terus mentransfer panas asmara kita.

Tak peduli apakah itu secara konduksi, konveksi atau radiasi.

Tak peduli apakah itu melalui gelombang transversal atau longitudinal

Melalui gelombang elektromagnetik atau mekanik.

Aku akan terus mencari medium,

Untuk kelangsungan merambatnya asmara kita

Dan melewati setiap ruang hampa,

Dengan hukum archimedes, hukum snellius, hukum pascal atau bahkan,

Hukum newton.

Maafkan aku, jika resonasi cintaku belum begitu kuat.

Maafkan aku, bila cintaku masih berupa gelombang mekanik,

Dan belum menemukan Medium yang pas,

Untuk perambatan cinta kita.

Maafkan aku, bila tekanan cintaku belum seideal hukum newton,

Maaf aku, bila usaha, gaya dan energi cintaku

Belum memenuhi syarat hukum konservasi mekanik.

Tetapi aku akan terus memberi konsentrasi osmosis,

Pada konsentrasi cinta kita

Semoga dengan begitu,

Cinta kita akan menjadi Membran selektif parmeabel,

Agar cinta kita dapat bertahan lebih lama.

Aku menyayangimu seperti ketergantungan,

Antara gelombang mekanik dengan mediumnya

Salam sejahtera, 

Dari seorang pelajar berumur 14 tahun, duduk dibangku SMP, 
terlalu terpengaruh inersia dalam belajar. 

suitcase of relax

Soooo i just had been dating with someone; one of my lucky classmates. Yeah, you can call him Boobear, i know it isn't his real name but i don't know why every single person in my class says that he is the cloning of Louis William Tomlinson from 1D (lol) this just getting serious, i mean it just because he has the same nickname with that 1D's personnel, (louis). 

Okay, let just skip that cheezy part. You could say that our relationship is very controversial because.. you know, i'm from the tribe of batak. Yeah, so, even if you had the different family name with that person (whose batak too) if you're not lucky, you could still have cognation with that person. Like me, My family name is Tambunan, but my boyf is Silalahi. But we still have a strong cognation, it's like.. we have different family name but we have the same great-grandparents. So we know that our relationship won't work. We know that in the end, we have to broke up. We knew that our relationship is temporary and i knew it too that i hate temporary things. But that's not what i want to talk about....

I mean, i knew it from the start that my relationship with him won't last long. But i love him, he stole my heart in a blink of an eye (meeh, this is very dramatic). Yea, but i made me believe that love, is love. Love makes me believe that when you love someone, things like height, weight, intensity of good-looking-face, even your own tribe, doesn't important anymore.. you don't need that and it isn't worth it to talk about. I mean, love is love. When you love someone, you just love him/her. You'll love him/her sincerely, give your heart to them even you know they'll broke it sooner or later. Then i believe love is blind, because you can't see it but you can feel it. And love makes you to not care about things like i've said before. I knew that my relationship won't last but.. yea i could say it's temporary and i hate temporary things. But sometimes.. i understand it myself, sometimes.. rule has made to be broken. And i had my new rule: enjoy the little things. Sometimes, the little things means a lot. 

Live in the moment, enjoy every single moment of your life even if it's temporary or eternal. Because i learned that every moment you spent with sadness, you wasted your happiness. Make your own happiness, life is complicated so don't make it more complicated. Make it simple.. so here's my tip when you're sad/mad/depressed or things like that = 

1. Wash your face with warm water and soap, as much as you like.

2. Eat your favorite food, eat A LOT.

3. Play cheerful songs, dance like no one watch you.

4. Stay calm, keep your mind thinking with "Oh the joys of not giving a shit"

5. Watch your favorite movies so many times

6. Go showering, as long as possible, play with soap's bubble

7. If it's necessary, scream as loud as you can. Or, just run around your house or everywhere you want.

8. Don't forget to diet because you just ate a lot of food

9. The very important thing to do: Pray.

yea, that is my advice. You can do it or not, it's your own. But i think the most important thing to do is.. Pray. Just pray and you'll feel patient, relax, and you know everything's gonna be alright. No judge, i'm not fanatic but that's what i do when i feel down. 

Blue April.

Like We Used To - A Rocket To The Moon 

Alive - Krewella

Chasing Pavements - Adele

Don't Speak - Glee (cover)

Isn't She Lovely - Stevie Wonder

Six Degrees of Seperation - The Script

Just Give Me a Reason - PINK

Try - PINK

Begin Again - Taylor Swift

Let Me Love You - Glee (cover)

What i should have said.

"i never told you, what i should have said. 
 no, i never told you. I just held it in. 
 And now...
I miss everything about you."
Yes, i really really feel lonely at the time. 

Dear YOU, i know we don't have much time. I don't mean literally, i mean you're out buying some ice cream and just have fun with your friends and you'll be home soon. But i have a feeling, that i should have said, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me, how you drive me nuts. You made me better, by standing here by my side whenever i'm sad, whenever i'm happy, whenever i need you. And for that, i am eternally grateful.... literally. If you can promise me one thing, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you will try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my Bestest best friend. I'm a woman with no regrets, how lucky am i to have you by my side? you made me, me. But i'm just one chapter in yours, There will be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. I love you and this feeling will never change for you, i know this probably much to late to said, but i mean it. I do really really hope that you'll be happy with or without me, just promise me you will always remember me, and remember that you (have been) mine. I know our relationship didn't last, but that doesn't mean the feeling have to fade away. And i know, that, sometimes when people grow, they are grow apart. But that doesn't mean love that once shared wasn't true and real. I believe in you, i believe in us. It just, feels like half of me just fade away, it feels like something is missing, something is gone. You are my permanent unfinished tattoo, and i will always remember ours. Thanks for the memories, thanks for the precious 6 months that you gave to me. And i know, we have to appreciate the simple things God has blessed you with. My prayers will always be with you, no matter what. 

Promise me you will be happy. 

P.S I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

yeap, i don't know how to show my feelings, it just.. feels.. half of me just gone. I never felt nothing in the world like this before.
It hurts, like hell. Really. 

Addiction

I got strange obsession with: Indie thing, Nature, Adventure, Ghost, Russia, Jewish and things like that. I am interested with Historical thing and Photography. Especially, nature.. i love nature, i think that is the most beautiful thing in the world. Every night i dream about being somewhere else, where there is only me, myself and i. with a beautiful forest animals, foliage, tall trees around me.. also, with indie music that fill me into the top of my calmness. A very perfect place to stay, very peaceful. And as time goes by, my obsession has gone wild! it turned into a violent monsters! (lol, this was just my imagination). I mean, my obsession has gone wild and increasingly growing! than i thought, it would be nice if i changed my strange obsession into actions, like, what was that for if i keep thinking about it without put it into actions? i'm sure it was one of our major problems too in this planet. I will chase my dreams, go somewhere else further,  and make it happen. I know, i might be too young to think about this far, but in case, i've already have a plan and conception for my future. You know? I'm too excited to go on my life with a higher level! But, yew, being a teenager doesn't  as easy as it seems. I want to travel the world, go on a trip with my friends, explore the forest with an amazing view all around the world. (yeah, there goes my wild side.)

once again, we're teenagers, we act what we want and we think about everything like our head won't exploded. We think too much and feel to little, but this is how teenagers goes and society gets more cruel everyday. Don't let others close enough to hurt you and let you down, keep your head up high and just believe in yourself. When you reached the highest level of your confidence, nothing can ever let you down. But the most important thing is.. stand in God's guidance, stay faithfully, and life positively! 

Walk with Faith, Life is always about ups and downs. You can't be on the top everyday so you won't be at the bottom everyday either. -Anonymous.