Addiction

I got strange obsession with: Indie thing, Nature, Adventure, Ghost, Russia, Jewish and things like that. I am interested with Historical thing and Photography. Especially, nature.. i love nature, i think that is the most beautiful thing in the world. Every night i dream about being somewhere else, where there is only me, myself and i. with a beautiful forest animals, foliage, tall trees around me.. also, with indie music that fill me into the top of my calmness. A very perfect place to stay, very peaceful. And as time goes by, my obsession has gone wild! it turned into a violent monsters! (lol, this was just my imagination). I mean, my obsession has gone wild and increasingly growing! than i thought, it would be nice if i changed my strange obsession into actions, like, what was that for if i keep thinking about it without put it into actions? i'm sure it was one of our major problems too in this planet. I will chase my dreams, go somewhere else further,  and make it happen. I know, i might be too young to think about this far, but in case, i've already have a plan and conception for my future. You know? I'm too excited to go on my life with a higher level! But, yew, being a teenager doesn't  as easy as it seems. I want to travel the world, go on a trip with my friends, explore the forest with an amazing view all around the world. (yeah, there goes my wild side.)

once again, we're teenagers, we act what we want and we think about everything like our head won't exploded. We think too much and feel to little, but this is how teenagers goes and society gets more cruel everyday. Don't let others close enough to hurt you and let you down, keep your head up high and just believe in yourself. When you reached the highest level of your confidence, nothing can ever let you down. But the most important thing is.. stand in God's guidance, stay faithfully, and life positively! 

Walk with Faith, Life is always about ups and downs. You can't be on the top everyday so you won't be at the bottom everyday either. -Anonymous.

March

The Joy Formidiable - Endtapes

Carter Burwell - Bella's Lullaby

Imagine Dragons - Demons

Mumford & Sons - Ghost That We Knew

Bruno Mars - When I Was Your Man

Lana Del Rey - Body Electric

Lana Del Rey - Damn You

Imagine Dragons - Radioactive

Bring Me The Horizon - 15 Fathoms, Counting

Ed Sheeran - Give Me Love

March has gone so sadly-happy month this far. 

xx. 

Change the way you view life.

Okay, this must be the first post by me, in this new-happy-random-year. And, I know. I've been acting so crazy and out of mind, lately. I feel like i'm losing my mind. But then, i've spent so much time just with myself, and just think about my life, what will happen next, what should i do with my life, and what about my future. I can't just say 'i hate everything' or think i'm gonna kill everyone so i can get what i want. It just making situation more worst, and worst. I just realized, i have to adapt to it. I have to fix my life, adapt with the cruel society, stay strong and just let God do it in HIS way. I knew, God knows the best, he will never let me down, he always be there for me and he always do HIS best to me, and my life. Lately, i've been attack by the cruel society, i lost my sagacity, and i realized.. i forgot my creator.. God. And now i was awakened by my father, he told me everything. He teaches me everything. He teaches me how to live the lovely life, with God's love. He is the best father ever! i used to hate him.. always blame him with his own advice, but now, i've been think about it for a couple weeks, he was right. I was wrong. I have to grow up, change the way i see life. And i've found my inspirator... IT'S AUDREY HEPBURN!

Audrey came when i was having the darkness of life, so deeply. When i was almost leave all the good things thats shall be done by me. But i had a mini heart attack when i finally realized that Audrey has passed away a couple years ago :( it makes me so sad so badly. But it doesn't matter. She is a legend, ppl! she might be gone, but her effort will never ever ever gone! just like Marilyn Monroe and the others does.

I like her, her effort especially. Audrey has changed the way i see things, too. She made me feel 'asdfghjkl'! i can't describe it. She made me, and my life better than before. She is perfectonist. (I'm not blow it up, but this is the fact; don't get mad)

And this was the biggest. The biggest effort that she made to me. 'because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself' . She realized a lot of things, that never occurred to me. Probably, never passing through my mind.

And the most importantly was....

And, thats all, peeeeeeeople! (: xoxo.

Something i've learned about life. Like, really!

Well, i've been through so much things in this year. And, there is something that has been changed my mind since that night. (wait, what.)

Okay, do you ever feel like you're alone in a crowded room? yes. (this is getting serious.)

I don't know what was actually happened to me. But, suddenly, these unpredictable things came into my mind... and i guess, it has changed my whole way of thinking, of life. (nah, nah)
and this is what i thought yesterday...

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. 

So, love the people who treat you right. And forget about the ones who don't.

Try to learn to don't give a sh!t of what will people think about you.

Also, try to learn to don't give a fvvck of "what if's".

Really, it's better to have a life of  "oh wells" than to have a life of "what if's"

And believe, that everything happens for a reason.. even it was bad, or good.

If you get a chance -  take it. 

If it changes you life - let it.

Nobody said that it would be easy.....

So, you just have to keep you head up high, and let God do His best."

Yep, that's all. And this is my advice -- so, i hope this will be worth it, for you. :] 

Cheeeezzzeey! xoxo.

Прощай ноября, привет декабря.

So, i guess everyone have been so excited for Christmas! me too. Of course.
I've been getting so much trouble and bad things lately, but i still be grateful to God because he still give me chance to live this life and also, i knew he is planning for the best to me. I promise i will be more happier and be more thankful to God.. because, December was the month of joy, happiness, and to finish what you started. My favorite month, and, i guess, everyone's in. oho.

And well, i don't want much things in December. Actually, i just want my life to get soooooo much better than before and, (do not) being such a pyscho (again). JEEZ! but, really. I don't want to get so over but i mean in this case is.. i don't want to cry for no reason anymore, suicide season (wait,what.)... hurt myself and blaming myself because other's people mistakes.. and taught why not i just kill myself, so this fvvckin situation could dissapear? and i'm just like, "Depression isn't an act, eating disorders aren't a phases, suicide isn't a coward's escape, self-harming is not a cry for attention. Stop acting like you know everything. The truth is, you don't know sh!t." (Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?) jeez.
I know. It's all about my fault.. over-thinking. This mind has ruined my life so deep. ftw.

And yeah, the point is.. in this lovely month, i just have to be relax and not get over thinking anymore. I had to try to enjoy my life and do not give a sh!t of what will other people think about me. Because, i knew... in the end, all of this bulls just like a flavour of sense to add more colors in my life. And i should be so grateful to God, because i know he gave me this situation, because he wants to teach me how to learn from my mistakes, and, he wants to give me strength for preparation to lead this cruel life. This is just a lessons, and, also... this was just the beginning of life.
God bless me always. ☮ ‏

November/Novembre

Lana Del Rey - Video Games

M83 - Too Late

The Polar Dream - Endless Tales

Daughter - Love

Home - Foxes

All Those Friendly People - Funeral Suits

Youth - Daughter 

Solèy - Kill The Clown

Solèy - Pretty Face

Sia - Breathe

Gonna be okay. Just take a deep breathe.

Today, i have a lots of taught even i can't face it. But honestly today was as boring as my previous days. Yeah, my daily routine. Wakes up in the morning, laziness on top, school, lessons, shit days. I've been through it all over again. But then i taught, "Why don't you make your own happiness?" That was the final thing. I've been through my daily boring day all over again and nothing has changed. So, i decided to opened my notes on my handphone and made list of things that would make me happy. The first thing that popped into my mind was the song called Young, Wild, and Free by Wiz Khalifa ft. Snoop Dogg and Bruno Mars, those are my favorite musician. This song never fails to amuse me, and also Boys Like Girls's The Great Escape. The next thing that makes me happy is when my bestfriend sent me some cute text and that was made my day! my bestfriend is the best, she could make me smile even when i don't want to, she's my moodbooster. The next thing might sound a lil bit crazy,  i like to modus with my senior in my high school. Maybe some of you don't understand what is the meaning of modus, it's some kind of insane-thing that would make you happy for no reason :p yeah but sadly modus  is  only exist in my lovely country.. Indonesia. Indonesian's ppl, especially Teenagers is love to modus or even being modus. For us, it has some weird sense that could light up all of sadness or galau people hahahaha lol.  And the last thing that makes me happy is eat. Especially is eats chocolate, i feel so free and i don't know... it tastes good. 

See? After all, today wasn't that bad. In fact, everything isn't that bad after all. Whenever you feel like there's nothing you can do to fight all the problems ...just look on the bright side. I usually to don't give a fuck of what people would think about me, this is my life and you have nothing to do about it. Go fuck yourself and go make your own happiness. 

If you believe in who you are, who you were always meant to be, if you open up your heart, then you'll set your spirit free. –Disney Fairies